The Hallmarks of a Manipulative Personality: Ambiguity as a Weapon
One of the distinguishing traits of manipulative personalities is their use of ambiguity. This intentional vagueness allows them to shift their stance as it suits them, avoiding accountability and responsibility while appearing adaptable. Through this tactic, they can shape the conversation or the perception of truth to suit their needs, changing positions depending on the outcome they want to achieve. This is especially evident when examining certain heretical teachers. They may appear to be “open-minded” or “exploring deeper truths,” yet under the surface, they’re sowing confusion and eroding foundational beliefs. Their questioning doesn’t seek to illuminate but to obscure what was previously seen as fixed truth, destabilizing the doctrines that were once secure and leading people into doubt. Their approach is akin to loosening nails in a house—undermining its strength without outright dismantling it, making it all the more dangerous because the damage is hidden at first.
This tactic of ambiguity is not new; in fact, it’s as old as humanity itself and has its roots in the adversary of God and His image-bearers, Satan. When Satan appeared in the Garden of Eden, it was not by accident that he came in the form of a serpent—crafty and deceitful (Genesis 3:1). His approach was steeped in cunning ambiguity. By asking, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” he introduced doubt into Eve’s mind (Genesis 3:1). Here, Satan wasn’t genuinely curious; he was planting the seed of doubt in what had previously been a clear command from God.
Eve’s response reveals the subtle power of ambiguity. She replied, “God said, ‘You must not eat it or even touch it, or you will die’” (Genesis 3:3, NLT). Her addition of “or even touch it” shows how Satan’s ambiguity had already taken root. Eve, in the face of this uncertainty, added to God’s words, a common response when people are faced with vague, manipulative questioning. Instead of standing firm on God’s command, Eve was drawn into an uncertain interpretation, leading to her eventual disobedience. This tactic—to muddy the water and make the truth appear unclear—is a classic manipulation, distorting what is true by making it appear negotiable.
So, how do we respond to such manipulative ambiguities today? The Bible gives us two ways:
- Respond with clear, unchanging truth. Jesus, when faced with questions intended to trap Him, often responded with the clear words of Scripture, holding firm to God’s truth. The unchanging truth of Scripture cuts through ambiguity and provides clarity in the face of confusion. Manipulative personalities cannot easily maneuver around clear, authoritative statements. We too can avoid being ensnared by falsehoods by rooting ourselves in the timeless, clear teachings of the Bible.
- Turn the question back to the questioner. Jesus also used this approach, often answering a question with a question to force clarity from the one asking. When manipulative personalities attempt to cloak their intentions in ambiguity, turning their question back on them requires them to define their position more clearly. In doing so, you disrupt their ability to control the narrative, forcing transparency in a way they may not have anticipated. This clarity is essential; as Proverbs 18:13 says, “To answer before listening—that is folly and shame” (NIV). We cannot rightly respond to ambiguity if we do not first insist on understanding what is being said.
In essence, don’t respond to anything unless you know what you’re responding to. Ambiguity in conversation can be as destabilizing as loosened nails in a home. Just as you would reinforce your home against threats, stand firm in truth and call out ambiguity to protect against manipulation. Clarity and truth are powerful defenses against the schemes of those who seek to obscure reality and lead others astray.