Teen Suicide and How To Help
Warning Signs
Most teens who go on to attempt or commit suicide give warning signs; rarely is it totally out of the blue. Therefore, it is very important to know what these warnings signs are.
Here are three common warning signs:
1.) Deepening depression, especially when accompanied with hopelessness. While it is normal for teens to experience more intense and fluctuating emotions, depression is not “just a normal part of being an adolescent.”
2.) Talking about suicide, even jokingly. This is especially the case if they have a plan how they would do it.
3.) Sudden, marked changes in mood or behavior. For example, a normally outgoing teen suddenly becomes sullen and withdrawn; a normally good student suddenly doesn’t care about school; or a normally quiet teen suddenly become irritable and angry.
What parents can do.
1.) Take whatever is going on seriously. Don’t wait for them to come to you. If you notice they seem depressed or anything out of the ordinary, talk to them. “I noticed you seem _ lately. Is there anything you’d like to talk about?” If they say no (which they likely will), don’t press them to open up. Instead, simply let them know: “I’m here if there’s anything you need to talk about.” And then remind them of this regularly.
2.) Ask them directly if they’ve thought about hurting themselves. A common myth about suicide is that asking someone if they’re suicidal makes it more likely to happen. This is exactly the opposite of the truth. Teens often feel great relief in being able to talk to someone about what they’re going through, and this is especially the case when it comes to suicide. If they are thinking of suicide, parents should take it seriously, but not panic. Here, parents can do three helpful things:
1.) Let them know you’re glad they told you. It was likely difficult for them to open up about this, so let them know you appreciate their willingness to do so.
2.) Remind them of reasons they have to live. People who are seriously contemplating suicide often get tunnel vision and can’t see anything but the dark clouds. Some things to say might be, “I would be sad if you were gone.” “It might not seem like it now, but you won’t always feel this way.”
3.) Ask them for their reasons to live. It is a strong protective factor when a teen can verbalize reasons to go on living.
3.) Give them the option to talk to a counselor. People who are thinking of suicide need to know there are options. This cuts at the hopelessness that can set in. Bringing up the possibility of talking to a counselor can be a good route to take since teens are working on the task of independence. “It’s okay if there’s things you don’t want to talk to me about. Would you like to try and meet with a counselor?” A good counselor will not shut parents out of the process, but will want to bring parents into the treatment since parents are crucial in a teen recovering from depression or other mental health issue.
4.) When to seek immediate help. With teens it is often difficult to gauge just how serious they are about taking their life. Any mention of suicide doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to rush them to a hospital right away. However, there are some times when the risk is high enough to do so. Three of these risks include:
1.) When they have a plan. If they have a specific plan, including an identified means to carry it out and a stated intention to do so, don’t take the chance that they won’t go through with it.
2.) If they’re acting very bizarrely. This might often indicate the onset of a manic episode, in which case it would also be imperative to get them into a hospital ASAP.
3.) If they’re actively using substances. Teens are much more likely to commit suicide when there are substances involved. Alcohol, for one, greatly impairs both judgment and impulse control and may be just the final push they need to carry out their plan.
If cases where you need to seek immediate help, call 911 or the Suicide/Crisis line 988.