On Receiving Negative Feedback
How We Respond to Negative Feedback Reveals How Much of Our Identity Is in Our Performance
Negative feedback can be tough to swallow, but how we respond to it speaks volumes about where we place our sense of identity and value. When you receive negative feedback, do you react defensively? Do you brush it off or take it personally? Your response could reveal more than just your opinion of the feedback — it can show how much of your identity is tied to your performance.
What Does Negative Feedback Reveal?
Feedback doesn’t create a response in us; rather, it reveals what’s already there. If negative feedback sends you into a spiral of doubt or frustration, it may be a sign that your identity is too closely tied to how you perform, succeed, or are perceived. In contrast, if your reaction is more balanced, it suggests that your sense of self-worth isn’t reliant on external validation.
Is It Okay for Our Identity to Be in Our Work?
To a certain extent, it’s natural for us to feel connected to our work. After all, our jobs, passions, and efforts represent part of who we are. However, problems arise when too much of our identity is tied to our performance. If a critical comment leaves us questioning our worth, it’s likely we’ve invested more of ourselves into our work than is healthy.
Striking the right balance allows us to value feedback without letting it define us.
What About Feedback That Isn’t True?
Not all negative feedback is valid. What if the criticism is false or misinformed? This can be incredibly frustrating. In these cases, our response reveals whether we’re anchored in truth or rattled by perception. Responding calmly, seeking understanding, and being willing to clarify can help ensure that our identity remains grounded, even when the feedback feels unjust.
How Do We Handle Slander?
Slander, or feedback that attacks our character or intentions, can cut deeply. The key to handling slander lies in knowing who we truly are and remaining rooted in that truth. While it’s tempting to fight back, sometimes the best course of action is to let our work, integrity, and character speak for themselves. False accusations can’t stand long when truth is on our side.
So, What Should We Do When Faced with Negative Feedback?
- Is the Feedback True?
The first step is to honestly assess the feedback. Does it hold truth, even a little? If yes, we can learn from it and use it to grow. If it’s a misunderstanding, we can clarify. If it’s outright false, we can choose to let it go. - How Can We Be Thankful for It?
It might sound strange, but negative feedback can be a gift. If the feedback is accurate, it offers a chance to refine ourselves, improve our work, and develop humility. Even when it’s not true, it gives us an opportunity to practice patience, resilience, and grace. - Isolated or Systemic?
Just because someone criticizes a single aspect of our work doesn’t mean it’s a reflection of our entire performance. One negative review or bit of feedback doesn’t define our abilities.
What Should Our Response Be?
At the heart of it all, our response to negative feedback is a reflection of where we find our worth. If we’re confident in our identity beyond our performance, we can handle both fair and unfair criticism with grace. We can learn from what is true, let go of what is false, and keep our focus on the bigger picture — knowing that our identity is secure, regardless of how others perceive our work.